Ever felt uncomfortable telling someone that they have body
odor? What's the proper way to react when you accidentally asked a
neighbor when her baby's due, only to find out that she's not even
expecting?
Awkward moments like these are bound to happen. Unfortunately,
the chances of the earth opening up to swallow you alive are slim
to none. Most of the time, we just have to face the situation head
on, and learn from it. Here are some tips on how to handle "face
palming" moments without having to, well, face palm.
Letting someone know he has body odor/bad breath/an
inappropriate wardrobe
It's one thing to sit next to someone with B.O. on the bus. It's
another to have to deal with said person several hours a day. So
how exactly do you let that person know that he or she
stinks—literally?
Commenting on someone's hygiene or choice of wardrobe can be a
bit tricky—so think long and hard before opening your mouth. For
one, determine if the situation is really affecting your work. If,
say, your group mate's bad breath isn't keeping you from finishing
those term papers, then it may just be a slight inconvenience that
you should learn to live with. Also try to see if there's a certain
pattern. If the odor came up once or twice, then it was probably
just a phase. If she comes in every day smelling like that, then
it's time for a little one-on-one.
You may have heard advice that says you ought to give the person
a bar of soap as a "present", or toss a fresh-smelling deodorant
her way ("I got it as a freebie but don't need it, you can have it
if you want!"). These "subtle" techniques are just ways to skirt
around the issue, and your friend will either miss the point or be
very much insulted by the gesture. Approach the smelly issue
head-on, and speak up.
That said, make sure you talk to her in a private setting. Be
clear and concise, without being rude or harsh. You want to get the
point across, not make her feel like an inadequate human being. At
the same time, don't sugarcoat your words. While you shouldn't tell
her that she "reeks like garbage left to rot under the sun for
weeks," using words like "it's not that bad" might make her think
your complaint isn't that serious.
Accepting a compliment
You've been running five times a week, eating healthy, and
managed to squeeze into your skinny jeans without any effort at
all. When you bump into an acquaintance you haven't seen in years,
she showers you with compliments on how slim you've become, how
your skin is glowing, and how you should totally try out for one of
those bikini beach body contests. How do you respond?
Depending on how your mind works, you could either think her
compliment is sincere, or that she's just playing you (especially
if you didn't slim down that much). In any case, the best way to
respond to compliments (whether sincere or not) is to say a simple,
genuine "thank you." Look the person in the eye when you do it,
then try to divert the conversation to something related to the
topic, like "thanks, I've been trying to slim down. But look at
you! You look fabulous! What workout or diet have you been on?"
Offering condolences
No one really thinks about it, but offering your condolences can
be tricky. That's because you don't want to appear too contrived,
nor do you want to it to seem like you really don't care. There's
also the fine line between being concerned and being obtrusive.
In instances like this, the key once again is to keep it simple.
Approach the person and say, "I heard what happened. My condolences
to you and your family." Avoid spewing out clichés like, "he lived
a good life," or, "it's better to rest in peace than continue
suffering." The person knows all this already, and doesn't need
Oprah's mini-me to douse him with said clichés. It's okay to ask
about funeral arrangements, and if the family is open to visitors
at the wake (of course, don't ask if you don't plan to drop by and
pay your respects). Also, think twice before saying things like,
"I'm here if you need me," if you don't really plan on being
on-call 24/7.
You accidentally insult someone
While at a lunch with co-workers (and your boss), you make fun
of the name "Antonio", only to find out that your boss's real name
is, well, Antonio. Or you give your congratulations to an
acquaintance you see in the mall about her baby—only, she's not
pregnant.
We've all been guilty of having "foot-in-mouth" disease, and the
best way to rebound from such a situation is to dish out some
self-deprecating humor. Saying something like, "Really? My real
name is Dolores, and I hate it," could soften the blow.
If you find yourself in a situation that you think a joke can't
fix, don't try to weasel your way out of it by coming up with silly
excuses. It will only magnify the situation, and you'll come
out as a liar trying to save face. Just be honest and apologize. A
simple "I'm so sorry, I had no idea, that was very rude of me,"
will be very much appreciated.
